toonlet: My Undead Life

My Undead Life

by cloister

Zombie - normal: URRRRR...
HELLO. I'M ZOMBIE BRAD.
I HAVEN'T ALWAYS BEEN A ZOMBIE. IN FACT, ABOUT A WEEK AGO I WAS JUST LIKE YOU -- DELICIOUS.
SORRY. I MEAN ALIVE. ALIVE WITH FLAVOR. WAIT. I MEAN...I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GETTING AT HERE.
I USED TO THINK BEING A ZOMBIE WOULD BE SO COOL. THERE'D ONLY BE ONE THING ON YOUR DAILY TO-DO LIST. EAT HUMAN FLESH? CHECK.
IN PRACTICE, LIVING THE UNDEAD LIFESTYLE IS TOUGHER THAN IT LOOKS.
Zombie - scared: UHHHHH...
MY SOLE SOURCE OF FOOD IS MUCH FASTER THAN THE REANIMATED CORPSE I HAVE TO LUG AROUND.
ALL I CAN DO IS MOAN AND SLOWLY WALK TOWARD SOMEONE. "EXCUSE ME. I'M A BIT PECKISH. GOT ANYTHING TO EAT?"
OF COURSE THEY RUN SCREAMING BEFORE I GET WITHIN 50 FEET OF THEM.
THE MEDIA IS PARTIALLY TO BLAME. THE DEPICTIONS OF ZOMBIES IN FILM AND ON TV ARE ALL NEGATIVE AND, FRANKLY, A LITTLE OFFENSIVE.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A STORY WITH A "SAVED BY ZOMBIES" PLOTLINE OR A SCENE WHERE AN UNDEAD CREATURE DISCOVERS A NEW VERSION OF STRING THEORY?
IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO WALK UP A SMALL HILL WHEN YOUR BODY ONLY FUNCTIONS AT 30%. THEN WE HAVE TO ADD IN THESE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES?
Zombie - scared: GRR. ARR.
SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE THE ENTIRE HUMAN POPULATION HATES ZOMBIES. THE ENTIRE, DELICIOUS HUMAN POPULATION.

six replies

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Re: My Undead Lifeby craig
Zombie Craig - speaking: WOW! UNDEAD OR LIVING, THIS IS AN AMAZING STRIP, AND IT'S ONLY YOUR FIRST! KUDOS!
Zombie Craig - normal: IT TAKES BRAINS TO MAKE A STRIP LIKE THIS... MMMMMM... BRAAAAAIIINS!

Zombie Craig - speaking: WOW! UNDEAD OR LIVING, THIS IS AN AMAZING STRIP, AND IT'S ONLY YOUR FIRST! KUDOS!
Zombie Craig - normal: IT TAKES BRAINS TO MAKE A STRIP LIKE THIS... MMMMMM... BRAAAAAIIINS!

Re: My Undead Lifeby taterprint
scareblor - scarier: FAAAANTASTIC!

Re: My Undead Lifeby NeverBeFiredAgain
DaReverand1 - normal: I HAVE FOUND'A THAT MY FOLLOWERS DON'T QUESTION'A MY TEACHINGS'A ON THE WORD OF GAWD'A!
DaReverand1 - normal1: IN FACT, THEY DO EVERYTHING I SAY'A BECAUSE I REPRESENT THE ONLY TRUTH THERE IS'A!
DaReverand1 - happy1: I'VE WORRIED THAT MAYBE SOME OF YOU ZOMBIES HAVE INFILTRATED MY FLOCK!

DaReverand1 - normal: I HAVE FOUND'A THAT MY FOLLOWERS DON'T QUESTION'A MY TEACHINGS'A ON THE WORD OF GAWD'A!
DaReverand1 - normal1: IN FACT, THEY DO EVERYTHING I SAY'A BECAUSE I REPRESENT THE ONLY TRUTH THERE IS'A!
DaReverand1 - happy1: I'VE WORRIED THAT MAYBE SOME OF YOU ZOMBIES HAVE INFILTRATED MY FLOCK!

Re: My Undead Lifeby cconcepcion
king doom - mad: HI
demon gear - surprised: HI
HI
HI
HI

Re: My Undead Lifeby wolfbyte
John Q Citizen - sad: JOHN Q. CITIZEN SHARES YOUR PAIN
John Q Citizen - sad: HE ALSO IS SLOW, SMELLY AND INTRIGUED BY THE HUMAN BRAIN
John Q Citizen - angry: PERHAPS A REIGN OF TERROR WOULD CHEER US BOTH UP

John Q Citizen - sad: JOHN Q. CITIZEN SHARES YOUR PAIN
John Q Citizen - sad: HE ALSO IS SLOW, SMELLY AND INTRIGUED BY THE HUMAN BRAIN
John Q Citizen - angry: PERHAPS A REIGN OF TERROR WOULD CHEER US BOTH UP

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My Undead Life

six replies

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