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michelledennis

No Spring Chick

by michelledennis

PHENOMENA OF ONLINE DATING #1: *THE NAME ROLODEX*
I'VE RUN INTO THIS PROBLEM AFTER ONLINE DATING FOR A FEW MONTHS...
IT BECAME APPARENT TO ME THAT BECAUSE I'VE DATED SO MUCH ONLINE...
Michelle gesture - normal: WATCH THIS... THIS IS FUNNY...
...MY FRIENDS CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF WHO I AM DATING.
cell phone - normal: HI HONEY.
MY DATING LIFE IS SO INTERESTING, IT PROMPTS MY MOM TO CALL ME ON MY LUNCH BREAKS TO GET HER DRAMA FIX.
cell phone - normal: SO HAVE YOU HEARD FROM ROB, DAN, MI-AL-STU-BYRON?...
Michelle exasperate - normal: UM, WHICH, THE PATTENT ATTORNEY? THE KANGAROO GUY?
THIS IS AMUSING TO ME, IN A DISTRESSING SORT OF WAY.
Michelle shrug - normal: THE NIKE GUY? THE SASQUATCH, THE POET, THE TRIATHLETE???
Michelle thoughtful - scared: "HIYA.............R-ROB..."
THEN I BECAME ACUTELY AWARE OF WHICH NAME I WAS USING TO ADDRESS MY DATE DU JOUR.
Joaquin Phoenix - sad: UHHHHHM, HI. I'M THE POET...
GAWD IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF THEY ALL HAD THE SAME NAME.
Joaquin Phoenix - happy: HI GRETCH-MEG-MA-M-MICHELLE!
AND THE ONLINE DATING "PROFESSIONALS" UNDERSTAND:
Michelle exasperate - sad: *SIGH*
ISN'T THIS A FUNNY WORLD?

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